HUMOR PROPOSAL No. 1
For restauranteurs with creative block here are some sign ideas to get you going. Visualize these as large, lighted signs on the front facade of your restaurant.
Who’s on first? On the corner of Noo street and Dle ave it’s “Laundro-Phở-Mat.” Maybe sample “BROTH-el, Chock Phở-ull of Loose Sprouts.” Stop there or have at it with these toothsome morsels: “World War Phở: Fried Crispy Garlic Warfare,” “Brain Full’a Phở and a Belly Sloshing BROTH,” and even, “Unkosher Ounce of LOIN in my LOG (Phở-Style Vietnamese Cuisine).” Now we’re getting somewhere. When I am pitching at parties or friend gatherings I’ve had success with “Nine Phở-leven was an Uncooked Sprout,” but if that gets a lukewarm response I’ll pivot to “Wifebeater Stained with Chili Oil / Stairway to Speedqueen: Phở Restaurant and Laundromat” and see if it gets a response. One of my personal favorites, “Makin my Hoisin BROWN, Eatin’ SPROUTS, Chewing LOIN and Some Tendons,” usually gets one or two chuckles. Other restaurant names include: “Phở Getta Boutit!” in big red and orange letters outside the shop with a smaller subheading that reads (across two lines), “Deal out the Sauce Till the Water’s Brown! Broth workshop 9pm.”
For signs that might turn heads, turn to “Tits McGee and the Ass Blasters,” though I don’t reccomend it for a restaurant in an area populated by hundreds of families with young children. For that, “Smak a Dole” might work well. If your lot is more pavement than grass and you need a name fast, then step in line and try one of these on your sign: “You Can’t Un Loin the Loin-Saturated BROTH Phở-parrently,” or “Phở-ssy Human Baby Needs a Bottle of BROTH,” or “DONT WAIT DONT FLAKE, CHILI-STYLE,” or “Sprouts Bang-GA-lore.” Sing along to “BRISK-et, TENDON, Bean Sprouts Piled High! Loin and Garlic Fried up Crispy HOT!” “Davey Phở-kit, King of the PILED RAW SPROUTS (and Bazil)”